Rashid Darden

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2020: Year in Review

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When I was in my late 20s, I learned that people sent out year-end updates about their lives to their friends and family members. Such letters were seen not only as normal, but as polite. College friends of mine were the first people I knew who did this.

As for me, an early adopter to social media, I didn’t understand the appeal of telling all your business in December when you could be telling it all year long, as it happened.

I enjoy sending out holiday cards, though. Probably more than receiving them. I like the idea of having an outdoor photo shoot in cute clothes and letting people see how well you aged over the past year. I reckon you’re supposed to be showing off your children in these cards, but eff these kids.

I don’t have any anyway.

My cousin Jayonna came over (masked up) and used my camera to take photos of me for my holiday card. I taught her a little bit of composition, gave her the long lens (to stay even safer), and we played around for an hour in my backyard (and side yard). I liked the results.

It’s hard getting things done in Conway when you’re poor. Some of my friends ask me not to call myself poor. Others prefer that I say “broke” instead. The truth is that I’m somewhere in between. I don’t have a job with any sort of benefits. My health insurance consists of prayer, masks, and staying at home. I can’t get what I want when I want it without considering what I’d have to go without.

But I do have the generosity of my Patrons. Thanks to them, I am able to actually be a writer on a full-time basis. I can pay my rent, my internet (now with better upload speeds!), my cell phone bill (though service is spotty at best), and some streaming entertainment. Most times, I can afford food, though sometimes I apply for SNAP benefits. Right now, North Carolina gives me about $13 a month in benefits.

Thanks for the cobb salad and pack of Fresca, North Carolina.

There’s not enough to be said about my Patrons, though. It’s humbling to know that over a hundred people believe in this vision and have followed me from DC to Conway to help me see it through. I say often that I will try not to disappoint them. Most say I could never disappoint them. It still makes me anxious, though. I never want to be known as that author guy who went to the country and disappeared.

So I work as hard as I can to live up to my promise. And you know what? I think I did okay this year.

In May, my anthology Time was released. So was my novel Children of Fury. I am proud of them both, but especially of Children of Fury. I knew it would be complicated trying to explain that it was Volume III of a series for which Volume II hadn’t been released, but in the end, people didn’t care much. I got good reviews, but I could always use more.

Additionally, I published two short stories set in the Dark Nation universe, and connected to Children of Fury. The first was Thunder Rolls, a sequel story in which a character contracts COVID-19. The second was Pascal, a prequel story centering on a secondary character from Children of Fury at the age of six.

Thunder Rolls hit number one on release day. Pascal is climbing the charts as I write this. I am proud of myself for that.

Sincerely. It’s progress.

Over the summer, I was invited by Dr. John Shevin Foster to contribute a piece to a segment of the Black Theatre Festival that he produced. I decided to write a monologue in a Shakesperean style (modified sonnet/iambic pentameter) called “Such a Night as This.” It’s from the point of view of a rather straight-laced Black gay man whose more progressive husband goes missing overnight during the protests of 2020. It was performed really well by the actor Adrian Baidoo.

I always get a kick out of seeing my work performed.

I wanted to be finished with Dark Nation, Volume II by now. I am not, though I am much further along than I was a year ago and the ending is in sight, but I have to be candid about why I am not done. I was really distracted by my committments to Gamma Xi Phi, the arts fraternity that I lead. There was way more on my plate than there ought to have been, and that’s a major lesson for me. In 2021, work will be more evenly distributed. My part will get done regardless. I have modeled, taught, checked-in, and done everything else I could possibly do as a leader. All there’s left to do is let others lead and allow them to fail if they have to.

I’ve been seeing in social media memes lately that “I’ll just do it myself” is a trauma response. As I unpack that, I can commit to not doing it all myself in 2021, unless it is my work as a writer.

I almost forgot a major accomplishment of 2020! For the first time, I actually applied to writing awards. I won’t say which ones exactly, but I applied to five different awards in my intersecting genres. I did it because I feel confident that the work is good enough to be recognized. Losing won’t be the worst thing in the world–I’ve never even applied to any literary awards before now. (Besides maybe the Clik Magazine honors back in 05 or 06)

Applying to these awards can be expensive, and my Patrons and friends really stepped up to make sure that applying would not be a financial burden on me.

Back to Gamma Xi Phi. I don’t want anyone to think that GXP was a burden on me this year. I truly enjoyed every challenge and felt fulfilled each time a project was completed. My chapter, Beta Lambda, provided adult coloring books, supplies, and mental health information to over 50 households in Northampton and Halifax Counties. We initiated more members than we have in any prior year (including my mom), chartered a chapter in Raleigh/Durham with another on the way further south, made forward-thinking policy changes, and really did a good job with virtual programming.

2020 was good to me. However, it was not good to many others. We lost too many people to an avoidable plague. We switched to modes of learning that most families were not ready for. And the news was unrelentingly bad day after day.

I hold space for all those who didn’t have a good year. I see you and I understand. You are here and that is enough.

I apreciate your support. I thank you for reading. And I’ll see you in 2021.

Family and Lovers

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Today’s “Tarot Tuesday” entry will be a little different.  I want to delve into my philosophy and synthesize a few readings I’ve recently conducted.

Someone recently asked me if my Tarot readings were “real” or if I cheated somehow.  I suspected that they wanted to know whether I practiced the art (science?) of “cold reading.”  According to Wikipedia, “Cold reading is a set of techniques used by mentalists, psychics, fortune-tellers, mediums and illusionists to determine or express details about another person, often to imply that the reader knows much more about the person than the reader actually does.”

I wasn’t offended by the question.  There are a lot of charlatans out there.  And for what it’s worth, I don’t think I have some peculiar gift that nobody else has.

I listen.

I listen to what the universe is trying to tell me through the cards and I pass it along to whoever is asking the question.

swords04A young man I know recently embarked upon a professional journey which took him overseas.  For him I drew the four of swords.  This typically means a period of resting or recharging after a period of challenges.  But something about the position of the swords themselves was puzzling me.  Then it occurred to me that the swords represented his family.  Father, mother, and sister were heading in one direction and he was heading in another, not only physically, with his move, but philosophically, politically, you name it.

He’s doing well with his move and I’m happy I was able to give him some reassurance in that process.

More recently, I had a conversation with a woman who was having some internal debate regarding her future happiness.  I drew the ace of wands in the reversed position–a card of exhaustion and a loss of enthusiasm.  From there, she and I had a revealing conversation (details that will not be shared here) that culminated with me reminding her that she has to take care of herself before she can help anyone else.

People only ever really want to know about love, family, and career in these readings.  I’d love a reading that was about passing a class or writing a book.  But it is what it us.

I don’t find readings about love, family, or careers to be challenging.  People come to those readings already knowing their personal truths.  They’re just buried deep inside them and the cards show them symbols that help them make connections that are important to them.  That part is easy.  Doing the work to change your life for the better–that’s the hard part.  And a Tarot card reader can’t do that for you.  But we can point you in the right direction.

I give Tarot readings that begin at $45.  Send me a message if you’re interested!

Tarot Tuesday: Is this year THE year?

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PWA friend wanted to know about her relationship prospects over the next year.  She and I talk about this sort of thing all the time, but she wanted to know what the cards would say with some detail: the who, the how, the when.  I drew the Page of Wands.

I told the friend that based on this card, she would meet a man who was young, but established and successful.  He is confident and emotional—not a weak sort of emotional, but a fiery sort.  In the back of my head, I was thinking “Sounds like a Cancer man, probably.”

Then my mind wandered a bit to an episode of The Real World (as it always does) and this kind of man came up:

Yes, fiery.

Anyway, after we talked it out, she confided that a man fitting this description was already on the horizon!  I hadn’t known about this guy and her reading confirmed that she was on the proper trajectory.  Still, I told her to be on the lookout–just because the man she was talking to fit the description so far didn’t mean there wasn’t a similar model coming off the assembly line just for her.

If you would like your own tarot reading with even more detail, send me a message.  The price is right and we’ll have a great time!

Tarot Tuesday: Is she an obstacle?

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A friend had a special inquiry about an endeavor she was embarking upon.  She’s very active in her community, church, and is a busy career woman.  She’s currently starting a massive project that will require support from many areas of her life.  She wanted to know what was on the mind and in the heart of a specific colleague who had the ability to say yes or no to a request.

RW3CI drew the Three of Cups. I immediately had a positive reaction in my heart, but as a skeptic, I delved deeper and listened to what the universe was trying to tell me.

My friend’s endeavor would be a success, but why?  And why was she having trouble in these starting stages?

Well, I looked at the three women on this card as the three women who would bring the success:  the workers, represented by the woman in red; the supporters, represented by the woman in white; and the leader, the woman in gold and white.  All women are necessary, all women helped, all women celebrated, but only one brought the grapes!  She is the leader and she wants what’s best for you, but give her time to get this thing figured out so she can determine the best way to support.

This was a fun read and I enjoyed coaching my friend through this issue as she continues on the path to greatness!

If you would like a more detailed reading, they’re only $45!  Contact me through my tarot page today!

 

Tarot Tuesday: Who’s that guy?

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Welcome to Tarot Tuesdays 2015!  Every other Wednesday I will be writing about my experiences as a tarot reader.  Several friends, acquaintances, and nice people that I know have volunteered for a one-card reading lasting about 20 minutes.  I will share what happened in these readings with all of you.

Just a note: I am not a psychic and I do not believe that I personally can predict the future.  I view tarot as a fun method of deciphering what’s going on in your life by decoding symbols that are presented to us.

Now, onward to the reading.

Yesterday, I drew a card for a very nice young lady I met the last time I visited New Orleans, though she is a west coaster herself.  She wanted to know what her romantic prospects were, and more specifically whether she already knew the person she was meant to be with.

RWS_Tarot_07_ChariotI drew The Chariot, reversed.  That means the card was upside-down.  (For the record, I strongly prefer the Rider-Waite deck with images drawn by Pamela Colman Smith.)

The Chariot is typically a card representative of success and triumph.  It can also be seen as an admonishment against arrogance.  But in the reversed position it takes on a slightly different meaning.

When it’s upside-down, I told my client, it means a victory that’s a little more…messy.  I asked her “Do you watch Scandal?  Well, in the upright position, this card could be seen as Olivia Pope–a victory of the good guys, the white hats.  But reversed, this card is more like Cyrus Beene than Olivia Pope.  A winner, yes.  But a good guy?  M’eh…”

So what did this card mean in the sense of love and relationships?  My intuition told me that this card did not describe my client, but the man who would be entering her life.  I was certain this was not a man already in her world.  This guy would be new–accomplished, affluent, and flashy.  He would be new money, not old-guard wealth.  He would be great for adventures and a short-lived good time, but he was not the one to be settling down with.

Avoid him if you want to, I told her.  But if you do engage him, make sure you understand that this guy is a winner, but he’s not the good guys.  Be careful, and leave room for the guy who is supposed to be there.

She was pleased with the reading?  Why?

She had gone to a psychic this weekend who told her the same thing.

will smith what oohI screamed.  “Are you kidding me?” I asked.  Yep, she had gone to a psychic who read her palm and told her she would meet a fast-talking, new-money man who would be good in the short term, but someone was coming who would be far better for her.

Clearly, I was shocked at the similarities, since I clearly did not know the psychic and didn’t know the details of the query until the day of the reading.

But what fun, right?  These are the lessons we can learn through the symbols of a tarot reading.  I’m looking forward to a check-in with her in about six months to see what’s going on.

Would you like a tarot reading of your own?  I give more detailed readings for a flat rate of $45 by phone or Skype. Check me out!